No, he's not a Viking

OK, I had two dates this weekend. The first was on Friday night and it was with Speedy McSwedester. All in all, this was an OK date. It was neither spectacular nor terrible. As per pretty much all of my dates, Speedy was a nice guy. My free dinner count went up another notch (Thank you Mr. McGentleman), which I really appreciate, but other than the fact that he was nice to look at and his Swedish accent sometimes caused him to mis-pronounce words (which I giggled at in my head each time he said them), there wasn't much else super interesting going on with Speedy. Of course, my friends have had fun making fun of me for going out with "a Viking" as they like to refer to him. "How was your date with Sven?" (not his name), my roommate, Triathlete McHouseHusband asked me. "How's Olaf?"(also not his name), was one I got from my other roommate - Skinny McBride-to-Be's dad (who is in town visiting for a couple of weeks). So, to spare you the trouble of even asking, the answer, people, is NO - we did not go to Ikea and have Swedish meatballs for dinner. And, NO - he wasn't listening to Bjork in his car. And, NO - he's not a Norseman.

Instead of Ikea (which, btw, of course I asked him if he frequents, and he says he DOES go there sometimes for the pickled Herring. Eeew), we actually met at a wine bar in Downtown Mountain View. We each enjoyed a flight of wine and some hummus, which he paid for with a Yelp! coupon (!!!), and this - I have to say - is actually something I really liked about the guy. A frugal man is a man after my own heart. Afterwards, he asked if I wanted to get dinner. Who am I to turn down dinner? Of course I said yes! We went to a Chinese restaurant across the street, which he was super excited about because he had spent some time in China. In my opinion, he was just a little obsessed with Chinese food. He got these big bug eyes when he was looking at the menu and he was practically salivating all over the table. But, to each his own. We ordered TONS of food and I ate WAY TOO MUCH (I paid for it the next morning), but it was super delicious. And, dinner was on him. Score!

So, on our date, I learned that he just moved here from Sweden in September and this is his first time living anywhere other than Sweden. That sounds like a pretty big move, right? Well, when I asked him if it was hard for him to leave his friends and family, he said, "Would it be bad if I said, 'No.'" I laughed uncomfortably and said, "Of course not!" But that is a lie! Yes, it's bad, you cold-hearted abandoner! And that's when I knew it wouldn't work. Blondie McSmartyPants told me once that she read in one of her ever-growing collection of dating advice books that the reason a guy doesn't call you back is often not the reason you think (he's not attracted to you, he had a terrible time on the date), but it's actually more often based on something you said that didn't click or resonate with him or made him go, "Hmmmm..." In this case, with Speedy, I think it was this comment about not having a problem leaving his friends and family that made me go, "Hmmmm..." If I up and moved myself to Sweden one day, let me tell you this right now, I would be a DISASTER, crying for years probably, because I missed my friends and family so much. So, between his black heart and awkward, one-word responses to some of my questions ("Do you like red wine?" "Yes." "Are you close with your family?" "No." "Is pickled Herring tasty?" "Yes." Come on dude, throw me a bone here!), my final vote is simply going to have to be: Bud.

Now, last night's date, with VolleyBaller McBulgarian was a much more promising experience. We went to an Indian restaurant in Santa Clara that I recommended ("I know a really good Indian restaurant in Santa Clara" - say that with an Indian accent, please). He had mentioned in his profile that he loved Indian food, so in our email exchanges, we discussed our favorites in the area. He had never been to this one and - as I suspected - he was impressed. I told him that you can always tell it's a good Indian restaurant if there are actually lots of Indian people eating there. We were seriously SURROUNDED by McIndians. Except for one McAfrican who was sitting behind us. So the place was for sure legit.

One judgmental side note: so I could sort of tell from his profile pics that his hair was a little thin on top, but when I saw him in person, I noticed some serious balding action. Thankfully, bald is the new boyfriend and I don't actually care about a dude's hair (unless it is long and stringy. No Allman Brothers wannabes, thank you very much), so that didn't bother me in the slightest. Plus, he rocked it.

Overall, our date was pretty great. But when I attempted to rate my date over the phone last night with Blondie, I at first gave it a B+. I don't know why, except maybe for the fact that I am scared to rate any dates too high because then I run the risk of getting let down later on down the road. She slapped me upside the head through the phone, though, and told me the date should at least be given an A-. And she's right. Here's why: 1) He's cute. 2) He laughed at my jokes. 3) He made me laugh. 4) He's 6'5". Enough said. 5) He profiled me based on my astrological sign (WHAT? I know! That should totally be #1, right? AND, here's the best part. He was right! He was like, "You're a natural leader because you're an Aries." He's a Taurus, btw. In case you were wondering). 6) He paid for dinner (Oh, and here's a tip for you ladies - the best way to guarantee your date will pay for dinner is to get up and go to the bathroom just as or just before the bill comes. This way there is no akwardness and you don't have to take out your wallet and even pretend like you're going to pay! It's genius and works every time). 7) He asked if I wanted to go out again way before our date was even over. 8) He walked me to my car. Awwwww. I like him. We have a second date scheduled for Saturday afternoon. Right now, he's ranking pretty high on the stud-o-meter, but no votes just yet. We'll see how date #2 goes...