I don't get it

Whoops! I didn't realize I had let a month go by without blogging! I didn't intentionally withhold juicy updates, there just weren't any. So here's the latest...

My front runner Manly McTexan was scheduled to have surgery on February 7th so I set my expectations super low as far as when I might hear from him again. (This is the secret to avoiding debilitating downward dating spirals-set low expectations). Consequently I was pleasantly surprised to receive a Happy Valentine's Day text message from him. He reported that his surgery recovery was brutal and I said I was sorry to hear that and wished him well. He recalled I had plans to go to Austin and he had promised to get me some recommendations of where to go as he used to live there and has local friends and family still residing there. (I never expected to receive these). Well strangely enough, on the Friday before Teachy and I left for vacay, I was out at the local watering hole (watching Teachy, Texy McAmericanIdol, and DJ McEightesQueen sing their hearts out) and received not one but 4 text messages from him providing endless suggestions of where to go in Austin. I thanked him for his suggestions and asked if he was recovered from his surgery. No response. Well, I had 5 days of vacay ahead of me so I didn't let it spoil my buzz. Once I got home from Texas I decided I would swallow my pride and reach out one more time..just in case (even though my vaginal instincts were telling me it was useless). So I thanked him again for his efforts in sending me (remember- a 4 text long message) the Austin spots. Aaaaand you guessed it, no response! This behavior is absolutely mind blowing. Why would he go to the trouble of even researching Austin and then sending me the texts if he isn't interested in me? Is anybody REALLY that nice, particularly to somebody they met on match.com? And if so, wouldn't logic also suggest that they would therefore be nice enough to politely respond and indicate they are not interested in seeing me again instead of ignoring me? Somebody please explain this to me! Final vote: Dud in Stud's clothing.

Prior to our Austin trip I had chatted up Canadian McJew and he had politely asked if I would like to grab a drink once I was back in town. His maturity and good manners were appealing to me which is really quite scary if my standards have been lowered to the extent that all it takes is manners to get me excited about a guy. But anybody who is on match.com knows this is a rare and valuable quality in a potential date! So I gladly accepted the offer and we made plans for Saturday night. Our date started at 8:30 and we met at a local restaurant/bar that is always packed and loud. It's a fun scene, but not my choice for a first date as you can't comfortably sit and talk which is a significant first date activity! But Canadian McJew was on time, exceedingly polite and generally a good conversationalist. I had a glass of wine (+ the carafe which is really like 2 glasses) and I had only eaten a garden burger for dinner so I was already tipsy when he suggested going to another bar. If you are a single lady you might be familiar with the eating dilemma. It's generally assumed that if the guy does not explicitly state dinner, then there will be no food involved. However, multiple times I have eaten before a date, especially if it is in the 8-9 hour, only to arrive and my date hasn't eaten yet! What should you do? Eat dinner again (um no thanks, already struggling enough with cocktails 4-5 nights a week), or you could come off like a by-atch and say you already ate and refuse to eat anything else. Typically I will order something just to be polite (who wants to eat alone) and try not to devour a second dinner's worth of calories; hence my gardenburger-only dinner. So since Canadian McJew is not from the peninsula (he's from Canada as you might have guessed), he didn't have any suggestions as to where else we might go. So we actually had to get in his car and drive to the next town to hit up a tavern he Yelped from his phone. While he lost points for making me wander around in the freezing cold looking for a spot, I suppose in the end he redeemed himself for being resourceful. It ended up being a cool bar. We had a couple more drinks and before I knew it, it was 1AM! Crazy long drinking date right? Our conversation was good and he was interesting to talk to but my vajay was not sparkly at all. In fact, when he was driving me back to my car I was yawning. Which he noticed. So he dropped me off at my car and he did not get of his car. This was his unfortunate mistake as he completely eliminated any opportunity he might have had to kiss me at this point. So instead, it was an awkward, "Wanna go out again?" to which I replied "Sure, give me a call." Well followers...what do you think. Did he call? Its been over a week and, you guessed it, no call! Final Vote: Bud

I do have a promising date scheduled this week with TeddyBear McMIT. I haven't actually spoken to him on the phone, we've only exchanged emails and then voice mails as of today. I have lowered my expectations significantly so as to prevent disappointment but all indications are that it will at least be an enjoyable evening. TeddyBear McMIT asked me if I'd like to go to dinner (points for dinner instead of drinks!) and asked where I'd like to go. It is pretty rare that I actually get a nice meal out of these match.com guys so I suggested sushi (gotta get smart ladies). He agreed and I am hoping he'll call me tonite to confirm, and that the food won't be the highlight of the date! Current vote: Stud

Stay tuned for updates on him and others....wink wink.

There is nothing masculine about a phone date!

I am so sorry for the delay! I have been on vacay and have not had time to blog. But I know you're all dying for an update. So here goes...

Two weeks ago, I went on my first date with Okie McDogRescuer. Now, not only did I have low expectations for Okie, but I was also feelin' this other guy more (other guy being MountainBiker McChristian. More on him to come). So when he showed up to take me to lunch (yes, I broke my rule and gave him my address, but it just made more sense considering he was coming from Oakland and we were going to Mountain View for lunch), I was pleasantly surprised. He was much more good looking in person. His profile honestly didn't do him justice, and he was driving an orange Volkswagen GTI. Not really the color I'd pick, but I was definitely digging his choice in car. He ended up being funny and smart and we had a great date eating tapas and drinking sangria out in the beautiful Mountain View sunshine (this was, of course, before the weather turned nasty here in the Bay Area). This guy is DIFFERENT that's for sure. He's from Oklahoma but moved out here in the 90s for college (went to Cal) and now lives in Oakland. He reads instruction manuals cover to cover, rides motorcycles across the country with his dad, and rescued his dog (who was homeless and hanging around a restaurant he happened to be eating at) in New Mexico. I'm telling you, this guy surprised me. So... we've communicated a few times by text message since then, but no date #2 scheduled. I'm keeping my fingers crossed - I like this guy. Current vote: stud

So, MountainBiker McChristian was my top choice for a while. He seemed like a suuuuuper nice guy, owns his own house (which he remodeled with his dad, who's a contractor), is into sports and likes cooking. Sounds like a catch, eh? Well, I liked him a lot until I gave him my number and all he wanted to do was schedule dates to talk on the phone. And I don't mean just a short chat here and there, but we're talking hour-long, ear-reddening phone conversations. Ugh. I am so not into that. He had really interesting things to say... I think... but the truth is that with every conversation, I found myself snuggled up in bed and falling asleep by the end. What is it with dudes who like to talk on the phone!? Isn't that kind of feminine anyway? Phone dates are what I have with my friends who live out of town. You know, the ones I'm NOT capable of meeting for dinner or a drink...

So finally, after two painful hour-long conversations, in which I was yawning constantly, I asked him if he was going to take me on a date. He obliged. We ended up meeting for Happy Hour in downtown San Jose late last week (just before I took off on my vacay to Austin with Blondie McSmartyPants. We will do a joint blog post about this trip soon). Anyhoodle, the date was fine. He is a good looking guy, we had a lot to talk about and I felt like he was into me. But overall, I just felt kind of bored with him. I am kind of bored with our "relationship" in general. That's not a good thing, right? I am thinking I should give him one more chance. So if he asks me out on date #2, I'll go. But my vajay is sending clear signals here: nope. Semi-final vote: bud

But hang on to your pants... A hair-raising Austin update plus new potential stud-worthy write-ups are on the horizon.

Cowboy, take me away!

Yeeeee-haw! I'm back on the scene! And in preparation for my upcoming trip to Austin, I've got my eye on some cowboys.

I had a date this past Friday night with Nerdy McNeuro. He is a brain researcher. Honestly? What kind of job is that? I had to ask him what "brain plasticity" was, so it ain't no joke, this guy is a serious smarty mcnerdypants. But, as I told him on our date Friday night, I like nerds, as long as they're not socially awkward. "I'm working on it," he said. Oh boy.

I'll be honest, though, the date wasn't half bad. As per usual, he was a super nice guy - very sweet and polite (perhaps we can thank his good ol' Southern upbringing for that? Yep, this guy is a straight up Southerner, from Athens, Georgia; but unlike most Southerners, he is not a cowboy - booooo - does not have an accent, is not a card-carrying, gun-toting member of the NRA, and is actually a Democrat!) Lordy, I found me a jackpot! Except for the not being a cowboy thing. I want to see some boots and 10-gallon hats, people!

Anyway, we went to a restaurant in Cupertino and sat outside. (Side note: where else can you sit outside at 7:30pm in early February and enjoy a couple of drinks, without a heat lamp? I love you, California). So... we had a couple of drinks - he had some beers, I had some wines, and we ordered some appetizers. We chatted for a couple of hours and had a really nice time getting to know each other. I learned a little bit more about my brain and that trucks in California are even bigger than trucks in Georgia. The wannabe cowboys here feel they need to overcompensate, maybe? I also learned that R.E.M. and the B52s are from Athens, Georgia. Who knew?

I am finding that I like Southern men. They're polite, they're kind, and they're able to teach me about a whole new sub-culture in America. I'm down. Either way, while this guy was suuuuuper nice, he's also just a tiny bit socially awkward and I found that I was interested in getting to know him more as a friend than anything. IF he were to ask me out on a second date, I would probably say yes. He's the kind of guy who deserves that opportunity. However, the truth is that there really was no sexual chemistry, and my va-jay-jay is telling me that he's just not the one. Final vote: bud.

Coming up tomorrow: a description of my date with Okie McDogRescuer. This guy is a true Okie - not only is he originally from OKlahoma, but he now resides in OAKland. Could you get more Okie than that? OK! Stay tuned...