I was weary of this date from the start, but I wasn't going to worry myself about it because I made a decision when I joined match.com that I was going to give every guy a chance. OK, maybe not every guy, but definitely the guys that I felt I might be able to connect with.
Sweety McAspergers was a really sweet guy. I knew that from the start. He was open, honest, and funny. The only glitch: he was a texter. I don't mind texters, really, but only if the texts are every now and then followed by a phone call. But for over a week, the phone call never came. Everyday, like clockwork, Sweety would text me. It started to get frustrating. I have enough real people in my life that I can text with. An imaginary boyfriend is not what I'm looking for (although that reminds me of the great business idea that D, A, M and I came up with at brunch several months ago...). So eventually I asked him if there were ever going to be plans to go out on a date. He assured me that there would be, but those plans were still not made. He continued to text.
Finally, one evening after work, he called me. I picked up the phone and when he started talking, I realized there was a second glitch (and also, perhaps, the reason he hadn't called me sooner): there was something off about him. Was it Asperger's? I am not quite sure how else to put it, but he sounded just the teensiest bit socially awkward. Or maybe a lot socially awkward. And then it hit me - the reason why he hadn't called me sooner. He - like most texters - was hiding behind his phone. In written form, he was a communication pro. But in spoken form, Asperger's. I didn't want to deny him a date just because he didn't quite sound the way I thought he would, so I agreed to go out with him last night.
He picked an Indian restaurant (which apparently he frequents regularly) in Cupertino. It was fine by me - I will eat pretty much anything. So after some extreme car issues (car wouldn't start, C - our house husband - wasn't home to jump it for me and wasn't responding to my texts to let me borrow the Prius, so I had no choice but to steal his car. Sorry, C!), I headed to the restaurant. As I walked up to the place - which looked more like a cafeteria than a restaurant - I discovered glitch #3 (and the reason, perhaps, he didn't ask me out sooner): Awkward McDorkerson. Don't get me wrong, I love dorks. But this guy was dork to the extreme. And not just that, he looked kind of dumpy. He was wearing some 1989-era faded light blue jeans, a faded greyish long-sleeve sweater-shirt (maybe it used to be black?), and his hair looked like he shook his head when he came out of the shower and then never touched it again. I am generally not very picky about the way someone dresses (unless, of course, he is wearing a denim blazer. Completely unacceptable), but when a guy shows up to the first date in that, which is - technically - the best he can do, then I am just at a loss for words.
The date went fine. He held true to my original judgements of him - very sweet, honest, nice, and so on. But I just did not feel the attraction. And I kind of blame myself here. His profile featured just one picture of him (no doubt taken five or six years ago) and one picture of his dogs (super cute goldens). A word from the wise, ladies: if a guy has just one picture of himself, it probably means he has either let himself go, OR that pic just happens to be the one flattering pic of himself in his repertoire. DON'T FALL FOR THE ONE-PIC TRICKSTERS! He did text me to ask if I wanted to go out again. I feel bad saying no, so I agreed to coffee week after next (I am too busy with other dates this week and have no free time!). After coffee, I will let him down gently. Final vote: bud
In other dating news, I've got Date #2 scheduled for tonight with Flakey McTallGuy (tonight will determine whether or not his nickname gets changed.) So far, he has been redeeming himself with various phone calls and text messages. And now we are Facebook friends, which makes me more nervous than anything, but I am prepared to change my privacy settings!
Tuesday night is a first date with Foody McGradSchool. He seems fairly normal. He's a San Francisco native and worked in the restaurant biz for many years. I am a fan of foodies because that means they will pick really good first-date restaurants. He is currently in a counseling psychology grad program and hopes that this year will be "the most powerful year" of his life. I like that. he seems smart and thoughtful. He called me on Friday evening and we talked for about a half hour. It was good conversation. No Asperger's-ness, so I'm happy.
And then Friday night I have a first date with Whitey McMidwest. I like this guy. He was born in L.A. but moved to Illinois when he was 13. He went to the University of Illinois (where his mom works) and moved here to work in HR at Cisco. He's a big guy - 6'4", a few extra pounds, but also very active. he plays in a co-ed softball league and apparently is an avid bowler. I don't mind big guys, as long as they are not obese. Sometimes it's just genetics and it's not like I'm a super small girl. Either way, I am excited to meet him. He called me yesterday and we talked for an hour! It went by super quickly and I didn't even realize we were on the phone that long. So that's a really good sign.
All in all... three potentially stud-worthy dates coming up. My match.com fortune just might be turning around. It's about time!
