Cowboy, take me away!

Yeeeee-haw! I'm back on the scene! And in preparation for my upcoming trip to Austin, I've got my eye on some cowboys.

I had a date this past Friday night with Nerdy McNeuro. He is a brain researcher. Honestly? What kind of job is that? I had to ask him what "brain plasticity" was, so it ain't no joke, this guy is a serious smarty mcnerdypants. But, as I told him on our date Friday night, I like nerds, as long as they're not socially awkward. "I'm working on it," he said. Oh boy.

I'll be honest, though, the date wasn't half bad. As per usual, he was a super nice guy - very sweet and polite (perhaps we can thank his good ol' Southern upbringing for that? Yep, this guy is a straight up Southerner, from Athens, Georgia; but unlike most Southerners, he is not a cowboy - booooo - does not have an accent, is not a card-carrying, gun-toting member of the NRA, and is actually a Democrat!) Lordy, I found me a jackpot! Except for the not being a cowboy thing. I want to see some boots and 10-gallon hats, people!

Anyway, we went to a restaurant in Cupertino and sat outside. (Side note: where else can you sit outside at 7:30pm in early February and enjoy a couple of drinks, without a heat lamp? I love you, California). So... we had a couple of drinks - he had some beers, I had some wines, and we ordered some appetizers. We chatted for a couple of hours and had a really nice time getting to know each other. I learned a little bit more about my brain and that trucks in California are even bigger than trucks in Georgia. The wannabe cowboys here feel they need to overcompensate, maybe? I also learned that R.E.M. and the B52s are from Athens, Georgia. Who knew?

I am finding that I like Southern men. They're polite, they're kind, and they're able to teach me about a whole new sub-culture in America. I'm down. Either way, while this guy was suuuuuper nice, he's also just a tiny bit socially awkward and I found that I was interested in getting to know him more as a friend than anything. IF he were to ask me out on a second date, I would probably say yes. He's the kind of guy who deserves that opportunity. However, the truth is that there really was no sexual chemistry, and my va-jay-jay is telling me that he's just not the one. Final vote: bud.

Coming up tomorrow: a description of my date with Okie McDogRescuer. This guy is a true Okie - not only is he originally from OKlahoma, but he now resides in OAKland. Could you get more Okie than that? OK! Stay tuned...

Feeling sparkly

Oh man, I've got a LOT to write about. So let's start from the beginning.

Update #1:
I was having a really nice, chill date with Blondie McSmartyPants on Friday night. We went to Falalfel's Drive-In and enjoyed the most delectable dinner. Then, we watched "I Used to Be Fat" (while eating falafels, dolmas, and French fries. We had both finished our milkshakes on the drive home), and gushed over how handsome the previously fat teenager looked after his weight loss. OMG, seriously, he was SO HANDSOME!

So, things were going great until just a few minutes before Blondie left. I received a text message from... wait for it... Ballsy McIndian. Dude is relentless! He sent me a message letting me know that he was free to meet either Sunday or next week. I texted him back telling him I was free to meet NEVER. OK, I wasn't that mean, but I had to just nip things in the bud. I never was and never will be interested in Ballsy. That is the bottom line. So I texted him to tell him that I didn't think it was going to work out.

This started a long chain of textuments (text arguments) back and forth between ballsy and I. Now, some of you might say, "Dude, why did you even respond?" And the answer to that, my friends, is that I am incapable of losing an argument to idiots. So, I had no choice but to continuously respond to Ballsy until he finally got the point. He responded to my rejection by asking for some "constructive feedback." OK, because this is totally a business transaction, right? So, I told him (for constructive feedback purposes): 1) his obsession with my height was creepy, and (for reasons why I cannot go out on a date with him, which was really just me being nice and trying to throw some sort of excuse out there): 2) I am busy.

Oh man, Ballsy could not let it go (but then again, neither could I). He texted me back a multi-text response, which came broken up and out of order. Something about accepting the constructive feedback, trying to explain his creepy obsession with my height (it was an ice breaker. Umm, ok whatever), and then offering some unsolicited feedback for me, to which I responded: "I don't remember ever asking you for feedback." This got him fired up! His response left me laughing. I believe it said, "I am sorry if my feedback hurt you." HA! OK, buddy. By this time, btw, it was nearing midnight and all I wanted to do was go to bed. My last two text messages to him pretty much said it all: "Get over it" and "Please stop harassing me". It was a serious war of words. And I won. Duh. After I received a final text message from him, which did not warrant a response, I deleted all of the text messages as well as his contact information from my phone. Hands washed clean.

Well, guess what, people... it doesn't end there! Yesterday morning, I received a text from him: "Dont want to disturb you. Just wanted to say sorry for the exchange on friday." This poor soul was clearly torn up all weekend. I, on the other hand, did not think about it at all. In fact, I forgot it even happened. So, I am not sure what that says about me, except what we already know. It does not need to be said. And yes, it rhymes with witch. Ugh. Final vote: dud, with a side of freak!

Update #2:
Let me preface this by saying that I am nervous about writing this particular post because I don't want to jinx anything... but, here goes. Saturday night I had my second date with VolleyBall McBulgarian. We had discussed on our previous date that we didn't want to just do another dinner, but something more interactive, so we decided on bowling. He picked a bowling alley near his 'hood, which was nice (it was great, actually, as it minimized the chance of me running into someone I know, especially a student. Can you say, awkward?).

When we got to the bowling alley at 8pm, the League bowlers were still wrapping up, so we had to wait 45 minutes before we could get a lane. He asked if I had eaten yet (I had, duh - it was 8pm - but I told him I'd have a beer while he ate), so we headed to the Round Table across the parking lot. We talked about being nervous on dates, writing, and shopping at Target (he asked me where I got my boots. Where do you think? I asked him where he got his shirt. He shops at Target, too!) It was, really, a riveting conversation.

When he finished his pizza, we headed back to the bowling alley and bowled three games. I am really a terrible bowler. I mean TERRIBLE! And no matter how much I try to improve my technique, I will always suck. He beat me in all three games (I have to say, not by much, though) and I told him, of course, that I let him win. :)

When our games were over, we finished our beers and then headed outside. It was pretty obvious that neither one of us wanted the date to end. I hugged him and he went in for the kiss. SCORE! We then proceeded to talk, while wrapped in an embrace, outside of the bowling alley for another 45 minutes. This was awkward for me because I am not a publicly affectionate person. He, however, did not seem to mind. So I pushed my awkwardness aside, because despite the fact that I was so overly aware of each and every person who walked by, standing there in his arms felt really nice. We eventually decided we should go home and after a quick kiss, we ran in opposite directions out of the rain and to our cars. I felt so sparkly at the end of the date, I could not stop smiling, and I now I am sitting here thinking about how I can't wait to see him again. I don't know what you're thinking, but the experts tell me that this is a good sign.

We have Date #3 scheduled for Wednesday night. Is this the stud I've been waiting for? We shall see... Current vote: stud!

Update #3:
So I was hanging out with my friend LooksLikeMe McHalfAsian, who is also on match.com. We were browsing through her emails when I noticed that there was one guy who looked familiar. "Hey! That guy emailed me, too!" I said. We laughed and decided, "Duh," because LooksLikeMe is pretty much the half-Asian version of me. We are nearly the same height, dark hair, dark skin, and pretty much the same build. She is on my triathlon team and people confuse us all the time. It is no surprise that there are men out there who might find not one, but both of us attractive.

So the day goes on and LooksLikeMe and I head over to Blondie's house for dinner. In the middle of dinner, I receive a phone call from an unprogrammed number (honestly, this could be anyone. I have given my number out to so many dudes since I joined match.com, I can no longer keep track). I listen to the voicemail and I realize it is from Mr. McClearlyHasATypeAndItsUs. "OMG!" I say! "LooksLikeMe! You gotta email this guy back." So she pulls up her phone and sends him the following message: "Hi, I am having dinner with my friend Teachy, who is also on match, and who you just called. She says she'll call you back tomorrow."

Oh... snap! We all got a good laugh out of that one, but we are not quite sure if he got it (he does not appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed), as he wrote back: "Oh, sorry. Enjoy your dinner." And this is what happens when you and every single person you know joins match.com. Sorry Mr., but I ain't calling you back. Final vote: dud

If at first you don't succeed...

...dust yo'self off and try AGAIN! Aaaaand that's what I'm doing.

Yeah... after the overwhelming feeling of rejection that I suffered this weekend, I decided to jump right back on to match.com with full force - new profile, new attitude. So I updated my profile and got to winking. And now I've got three dates coming up in the next week. Only one is from match.com, though.

Speedy McSwedester is a tall, athletic Swedish guy who recently moved to the Bay Area. His email subject line said, "Wanna go for a run sometime?" HA! Did you laugh out loud, too? I told him I'd go for a run with him, but it would be more like me running really slowly and him taking a walk next to me. Anyway, he seems like a pretty cool guy. He's a semi-pro cyclist, which is a little intimidating, but we'll see how things go. We have a date scheduled for Friday night.

I gave in to Ballsy McIndian (we met in the cereal aisle at Target, remember?) only because I am 99.9% certain that our date will lead to some really good blogging material. Is it bad to agree to dates "for the sake of the blog"? Because that has pretty much been my tagline lately. Either way, it appears he has moved from his tall girl fetish to a more appropriate obsession with my job as a teacher, as his "future career interest is in that direction." So, we're having coffee on Tuesday next week. Wish me luck!

And then, on a particularly odd note, I saw one of my exes at my triathlon practice last Saturday and we made plans to have dinner at this restaurant in Mountain View that I apparently told him I'd take him to while we were dating (I do not remember that at all), but I never did. Whoops. That's what you get for breaking up with me. So, Youngster McFriendlyGiant and I are going to dinner on Monday night at above-referenced restaurant. However, just for clarification, this is not a date-with-a-potential-husband situation. That ship has sailed. I never felt particularly sad about our breakup and we have remained semi-friends. So THIS is just two friends meeting for dinner. However, I will still blog about it because blogging about people when they don't know I'm doing it is so much fun!