Boy, did I get a special match.com email today. People never cease to amaze me. Just when I thought I've seen just about every weird email possible, I was shown up today BIG TIME by an email from Freaky McFreakster. Honestly, I cannot come up with any other name for him because I don't know anything about him and his email was completely unsolicited and bizarre. Without further ado, the email reads like this:
Subject line: God is faithful
The Lord will surely honor your consecration.
I hope you meet a special man who shares your interests and values, and someone who is as well-rounded, balanced, and tall as you.
You know you're a quality person, and you deserve a great guy.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, this is so good. I mean, where to even start???
#1 Thanks for reassuring me God is faithful. Not something I was terribly concerned about. And definitely not information I was seeking on match.
#2 What does "consecration" even mean?
#3 The first thing I thought of was "consummate".
#4 I was totally wrong. Banging has nothing to do with it.
#5 Consecration actually means, "is an act by which a thing is separated from a common and profane to a sacred use, or by which a person or thing is dedicated to the service and worship of God by prayers, rites, and ceremonies." For the record, I'm still unsure of what his sentence was getting at.
#6 He hopes I find someone as tall as I am???? Thanks? And how does height relate to being well-rounded and balanced?
#7 He knows, that I know, that I'm a quality person? That's awfully insightful for someone I've never emailed, called, texted, or chatted.
#8 Was he hoping this email would prompt a response from me? I only read statements.
#9 My profile is not religious AT ALL. It asks for religion where I have listed "Christian/Protestant" and in the more details section I say that I'm a believer and appreciate those who have a faith. Does that sound like someone who is consecrating??? Again, not really sure on what that actually means.
#10 Final Vote: This guy is a TOTAL FREAK.
On a few other notes, 6 weeks after meeting Kiwi McWorldy, we are FINALLY going on our FIRST date on Friday. Woohoo! He wasn't kidding when he told me he works crazy hours and travels a lot. Last weekend was his first time back in the US in 5 weeks, when originally he only thought he'd be gone for 2. (My main concern about him being gone so long...how did he pack? How did he have enough clothes?) I was in Florida last weekend so we missed each other again, but finally I think we have everything lined up for Friday. Since he's been gone we've talked on the phone multiple times and texted too, so I'm pretty excited and hoping it goes well on Friday!
I have also hung-out twice with DancingMachine MeTeddyBear. I've got nothing bad to say about him (actually, I take that back, he hates the Lakers - major strike!), he's nice, smart, good looking, has a job, tall, close with his family, but for some reason I'm just not digging it. I'm pretty sure it's because I have Kiwi McWorldy in the back, make that the front, of my mind, and this girl was not meant to be a playa! I can't make a final vote quite yet, but definitely looking more like a bud.
Showing posts with label freak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freak. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
When It Rains, It Pours
As the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.” I am currently, and somewhat miraculously, in a man-pouring state of life. As a person who typically lives in a more or less perpetual state of man-drought, I hardly know what to make of this situation I’m finding myself in. It all started about 3 weeks ago when I was out in Santa Monica with a bunch of my best girl-friends…
The first man of interest is Kiwi McWordly. On a Saturday night a few weeks ago, my girl-friends and I did a big night out in Santa Monica. We met at a friend’s house for some appetizers (where the host tried to serve us Kraft Singles) and cocktails and then headed out to dinner. While waiting for our table, we had a drink in the bar where we saw spotted Kerr Smith, a.k.a. Jack McPhee of Dawson’s Creek. What a great a star sighting! After dinner and drinks we then headed to a few different bars. We finally ended up at a fancy-schmancy hotel bar, where I felt WAY out of place (I live at the beach and typically go out to the bars in my flip-flops).
I was standing at the bar with two of my friends when a man, Kiwi McWordly, asked if he could take our place at the bar once we got our drinks. I, of course, said “sure” and happily began to move out of the way with my Vodka Soda in hand, when Kiwi McWordly stopped me and said in a wonderful New Zealand accent, “Will you actually stay a moment?”. Why yes man with an accent, I will. The two of us ended up chatting for quite a while, although I couldn’t give you a real time frame because this conversation took place post at least six cocktails. Things I do remember about the convo: he’s from New Zealand (not Australia – oops, totally made that mistake), went to college in Southern California, has lived in several other countries, and travels at least 4 days a week for work. He actually asked me if that was ok with me?? Sure dude, I’ve known you for about 5 minutes (or 40, again, memory is a bit fuzzy), so I really don’t mind what you do during the week. He asked me for my number and ended up texting me a little bit later that night, but I honestly thought that I would never hear from him again.
Much to my surprise, on Monday night I get a text message from him, saying “Hi and it was so nice meeting you” from Toronto. Wow! I thought I was fancy being at the Angels baseball game. Fast forward two more days and we text a few more times and these texts included him, 1. Asking me on a date in about 1 ½ weeks when he was finally back in the United States and 2. Asking if he could call me sometime. I about died. He asked if he could call? Girls, have you ever heard of such a thing? I swear, he’s so nice because he’s foreign.
We have talked on the phone twice now and have exchanged a few more texts. Unfortunately his worldly travels (he’s recently been in a few cities in Canada, Vienna, and Poland) have kept him away and we had to postpone our date that was supposed to be last weekend. I believe he is flying home on Thursday, so hopefully a make-up date can take place this weekend. Fingers crossed! Current vote: Stud.
Meanwhile…
A week after meeting Kiwi McWordly, I flew to Colorado to celebrate my sister’s birthday! Had a wonderful time for a few days and then unfortunately had to head home and back to reality. As my HeyTallGirl McSportsBoo name suggests, I am a HUGE sports fan. My flight happened to be during the first game of the Lakers vs. Hornets NBA series. I’m sitting in the aisle seat on a Southwest flight, and this good looking guy is sitting in the window seat, with no one in the middle (for the time being). I have my blackberry out game tracking the Laker game, when I notice this guy is game tracking something too. Since we were flying back to SoCal, I took a chance and asked him, “You following the Laker game too?” He was (duh), and we chatted a tiny bit before a 12 year old girl came and sat between us.
(On a total aside tangent – if you are a family traveling with 3 children under the age of 12, you should NOT be the last people to board a Southwest flight.)
The flight was just over two hours and when we land in Orange County, and are able to turn on our phones, he hands me his blackberry to show me the final (awful) score. I ask the little girl if she’d like to get out before me so she could find her parents and sisters who were all in different aisles. She hops out so Flirty McSouthwest and I begin chatting again. We talk all the way off the plane and when it is time to go our separate ways I say, “Bye! Nice meeting you,” he says, “Actually, can I see you again some time? Would I be able to get your number?” Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is like every girl’s dream – to sit next to a hot guy on an airplane (and not a total freak) and then have him ask for her number. I was STOKED! Couldn’t believe my luck. Now, don’t get too excited (like I did), because this guy actually is an airplane freak disguised as a hot guy…
He texted me immediately, which was definitely a bit much for me. His texts also included comments like, “I wish you had slid over to the middle seat so we could have sat next to each other”. Well sir, that is completely unrealistic that I would EVER give up an aisle seat for a middle. And another said something like, “Aren’t you glad I waited for you to walk off the plane”. Actually buddy, since I was in the aisle, I walked off the plane ahead of you. Like Blondie said in her last entry, we try to make excuses and exceptions for guys, so I tried to talk myself into thinking these constant flirty texts weren’t that bad.
I didn’t hear from him for about a week, which thrilled me and actually convinced me that he may be more normal than I originally thought. Then Saturday rolls around and the freaky texts resume. Again, the texts turned a little too flirty calling me a “hot girl” and asking me to “come out” and meet him late night. Barf. This was all already too much for me but today was the absolute final kicker. I get a text message today, Monday, at about 1:00pm. The text reads, “Boring Monday…are you wearing something cute today that will cheer me up :)”. Nooooooooooooooooooo! And now my phone has vomit all over it. Are you kidding me??? Do girls like this? Does this work for him? Oh man, needless to say, that was my absolute final straw. I did not respond and never intended to again. Final Vote: Dud, Freak, Barf-Trigger.
Lastly…
On Saturday night I was out and about in Newport Beach with a bunch of friends and friends of friends. We were dancing around, drinking, having a great time, and I kinda had my eye on DancingMachine McTeddyBear. I find out from my friends that he is single and apparently one of them decides to tell him that I’m interested. We chat a little bit, dance around (he definitely showed me up, and everyone else in the bar), and then I was ready to call it a night. In our conversation we found out that we live in the same apartment complex so decide to share a cab ride home. I’ll spare you any details but we made-out a little bit and exchanged numbers. He actually asked me to “hang-out” tonight, but I declined because I had other stuff to do (watch the Sharks hockey game, write this blog, but most importantly I was already in my sweats for the night). I asked him if I could take a rain-check and I think we are hanging out on Wednesday. Current Vote: Potential Stud.
I honestly cannot believe I’ve handed out my number, and have been contacted, by three guys in three weeks. Not sure what vibe I’m giving off, but I’m sure glad that I am! Although Flirty McSouthwest has GOTS to go, I’m pretty optimistic about the other two gentleman. Fingers crossed that one of them pans out!
The first man of interest is Kiwi McWordly. On a Saturday night a few weeks ago, my girl-friends and I did a big night out in Santa Monica. We met at a friend’s house for some appetizers (where the host tried to serve us Kraft Singles) and cocktails and then headed out to dinner. While waiting for our table, we had a drink in the bar where we saw spotted Kerr Smith, a.k.a. Jack McPhee of Dawson’s Creek. What a great a star sighting! After dinner and drinks we then headed to a few different bars. We finally ended up at a fancy-schmancy hotel bar, where I felt WAY out of place (I live at the beach and typically go out to the bars in my flip-flops).
I was standing at the bar with two of my friends when a man, Kiwi McWordly, asked if he could take our place at the bar once we got our drinks. I, of course, said “sure” and happily began to move out of the way with my Vodka Soda in hand, when Kiwi McWordly stopped me and said in a wonderful New Zealand accent, “Will you actually stay a moment?”. Why yes man with an accent, I will. The two of us ended up chatting for quite a while, although I couldn’t give you a real time frame because this conversation took place post at least six cocktails. Things I do remember about the convo: he’s from New Zealand (not Australia – oops, totally made that mistake), went to college in Southern California, has lived in several other countries, and travels at least 4 days a week for work. He actually asked me if that was ok with me?? Sure dude, I’ve known you for about 5 minutes (or 40, again, memory is a bit fuzzy), so I really don’t mind what you do during the week. He asked me for my number and ended up texting me a little bit later that night, but I honestly thought that I would never hear from him again.
Much to my surprise, on Monday night I get a text message from him, saying “Hi and it was so nice meeting you” from Toronto. Wow! I thought I was fancy being at the Angels baseball game. Fast forward two more days and we text a few more times and these texts included him, 1. Asking me on a date in about 1 ½ weeks when he was finally back in the United States and 2. Asking if he could call me sometime. I about died. He asked if he could call? Girls, have you ever heard of such a thing? I swear, he’s so nice because he’s foreign.
We have talked on the phone twice now and have exchanged a few more texts. Unfortunately his worldly travels (he’s recently been in a few cities in Canada, Vienna, and Poland) have kept him away and we had to postpone our date that was supposed to be last weekend. I believe he is flying home on Thursday, so hopefully a make-up date can take place this weekend. Fingers crossed! Current vote: Stud.
Meanwhile…
A week after meeting Kiwi McWordly, I flew to Colorado to celebrate my sister’s birthday! Had a wonderful time for a few days and then unfortunately had to head home and back to reality. As my HeyTallGirl McSportsBoo name suggests, I am a HUGE sports fan. My flight happened to be during the first game of the Lakers vs. Hornets NBA series. I’m sitting in the aisle seat on a Southwest flight, and this good looking guy is sitting in the window seat, with no one in the middle (for the time being). I have my blackberry out game tracking the Laker game, when I notice this guy is game tracking something too. Since we were flying back to SoCal, I took a chance and asked him, “You following the Laker game too?” He was (duh), and we chatted a tiny bit before a 12 year old girl came and sat between us.
(On a total aside tangent – if you are a family traveling with 3 children under the age of 12, you should NOT be the last people to board a Southwest flight.)
The flight was just over two hours and when we land in Orange County, and are able to turn on our phones, he hands me his blackberry to show me the final (awful) score. I ask the little girl if she’d like to get out before me so she could find her parents and sisters who were all in different aisles. She hops out so Flirty McSouthwest and I begin chatting again. We talk all the way off the plane and when it is time to go our separate ways I say, “Bye! Nice meeting you,” he says, “Actually, can I see you again some time? Would I be able to get your number?” Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This is like every girl’s dream – to sit next to a hot guy on an airplane (and not a total freak) and then have him ask for her number. I was STOKED! Couldn’t believe my luck. Now, don’t get too excited (like I did), because this guy actually is an airplane freak disguised as a hot guy…
He texted me immediately, which was definitely a bit much for me. His texts also included comments like, “I wish you had slid over to the middle seat so we could have sat next to each other”. Well sir, that is completely unrealistic that I would EVER give up an aisle seat for a middle. And another said something like, “Aren’t you glad I waited for you to walk off the plane”. Actually buddy, since I was in the aisle, I walked off the plane ahead of you. Like Blondie said in her last entry, we try to make excuses and exceptions for guys, so I tried to talk myself into thinking these constant flirty texts weren’t that bad.
I didn’t hear from him for about a week, which thrilled me and actually convinced me that he may be more normal than I originally thought. Then Saturday rolls around and the freaky texts resume. Again, the texts turned a little too flirty calling me a “hot girl” and asking me to “come out” and meet him late night. Barf. This was all already too much for me but today was the absolute final kicker. I get a text message today, Monday, at about 1:00pm. The text reads, “Boring Monday…are you wearing something cute today that will cheer me up :)”. Nooooooooooooooooooo! And now my phone has vomit all over it. Are you kidding me??? Do girls like this? Does this work for him? Oh man, needless to say, that was my absolute final straw. I did not respond and never intended to again. Final Vote: Dud, Freak, Barf-Trigger.
Lastly…
On Saturday night I was out and about in Newport Beach with a bunch of friends and friends of friends. We were dancing around, drinking, having a great time, and I kinda had my eye on DancingMachine McTeddyBear. I find out from my friends that he is single and apparently one of them decides to tell him that I’m interested. We chat a little bit, dance around (he definitely showed me up, and everyone else in the bar), and then I was ready to call it a night. In our conversation we found out that we live in the same apartment complex so decide to share a cab ride home. I’ll spare you any details but we made-out a little bit and exchanged numbers. He actually asked me to “hang-out” tonight, but I declined because I had other stuff to do (watch the Sharks hockey game, write this blog, but most importantly I was already in my sweats for the night). I asked him if I could take a rain-check and I think we are hanging out on Wednesday. Current Vote: Potential Stud.
I honestly cannot believe I’ve handed out my number, and have been contacted, by three guys in three weeks. Not sure what vibe I’m giving off, but I’m sure glad that I am! Although Flirty McSouthwest has GOTS to go, I’m pretty optimistic about the other two gentleman. Fingers crossed that one of them pans out!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Feeling sparkly
Oh man, I've got a LOT to write about. So let's start from the beginning.
Update #1:
I was having a really nice, chill date with Blondie McSmartyPants on Friday night. We went to Falalfel's Drive-In and enjoyed the most delectable dinner. Then, we watched "I Used to Be Fat" (while eating falafels, dolmas, and French fries. We had both finished our milkshakes on the drive home), and gushed over how handsome the previously fat teenager looked after his weight loss. OMG, seriously, he was SO HANDSOME!
So, things were going great until just a few minutes before Blondie left. I received a text message from... wait for it... Ballsy McIndian. Dude is relentless! He sent me a message letting me know that he was free to meet either Sunday or next week. I texted him back telling him I was free to meet NEVER. OK, I wasn't that mean, but I had to just nip things in the bud. I never was and never will be interested in Ballsy. That is the bottom line. So I texted him to tell him that I didn't think it was going to work out.
This started a long chain of textuments (text arguments) back and forth between ballsy and I. Now, some of you might say, "Dude, why did you even respond?" And the answer to that, my friends, is that I am incapable of losing an argument to idiots. So, I had no choice but to continuously respond to Ballsy until he finally got the point. He responded to my rejection by asking for some "constructive feedback." OK, because this is totally a business transaction, right? So, I told him (for constructive feedback purposes): 1) his obsession with my height was creepy, and (for reasons why I cannot go out on a date with him, which was really just me being nice and trying to throw some sort of excuse out there): 2) I am busy.
Oh man, Ballsy could not let it go (but then again, neither could I). He texted me back a multi-text response, which came broken up and out of order. Something about accepting the constructive feedback, trying to explain his creepy obsession with my height (it was an ice breaker. Umm, ok whatever), and then offering some unsolicited feedback for me, to which I responded: "I don't remember ever asking you for feedback." This got him fired up! His response left me laughing. I believe it said, "I am sorry if my feedback hurt you." HA! OK, buddy. By this time, btw, it was nearing midnight and all I wanted to do was go to bed. My last two text messages to him pretty much said it all: "Get over it" and "Please stop harassing me". It was a serious war of words. And I won. Duh. After I received a final text message from him, which did not warrant a response, I deleted all of the text messages as well as his contact information from my phone. Hands washed clean.
Well, guess what, people... it doesn't end there! Yesterday morning, I received a text from him: "Dont want to disturb you. Just wanted to say sorry for the exchange on friday." This poor soul was clearly torn up all weekend. I, on the other hand, did not think about it at all. In fact, I forgot it even happened. So, I am not sure what that says about me, except what we already know. It does not need to be said. And yes, it rhymes with witch. Ugh. Final vote: dud, with a side of freak!
Update #2:
Let me preface this by saying that I am nervous about writing this particular post because I don't want to jinx anything... but, here goes. Saturday night I had my second date with VolleyBall McBulgarian. We had discussed on our previous date that we didn't want to just do another dinner, but something more interactive, so we decided on bowling. He picked a bowling alley near his 'hood, which was nice (it was great, actually, as it minimized the chance of me running into someone I know, especially a student. Can you say, awkward?).
When we got to the bowling alley at 8pm, the League bowlers were still wrapping up, so we had to wait 45 minutes before we could get a lane. He asked if I had eaten yet (I had, duh - it was 8pm - but I told him I'd have a beer while he ate), so we headed to the Round Table across the parking lot. We talked about being nervous on dates, writing, and shopping at Target (he asked me where I got my boots. Where do you think? I asked him where he got his shirt. He shops at Target, too!) It was, really, a riveting conversation.
When he finished his pizza, we headed back to the bowling alley and bowled three games. I am really a terrible bowler. I mean TERRIBLE! And no matter how much I try to improve my technique, I will always suck. He beat me in all three games (I have to say, not by much, though) and I told him, of course, that I let him win. :)
When our games were over, we finished our beers and then headed outside. It was pretty obvious that neither one of us wanted the date to end. I hugged him and he went in for the kiss. SCORE! We then proceeded to talk, while wrapped in an embrace, outside of the bowling alley for another 45 minutes. This was awkward for me because I am not a publicly affectionate person. He, however, did not seem to mind. So I pushed my awkwardness aside, because despite the fact that I was so overly aware of each and every person who walked by, standing there in his arms felt really nice. We eventually decided we should go home and after a quick kiss, we ran in opposite directions out of the rain and to our cars. I felt so sparkly at the end of the date, I could not stop smiling, and I now I am sitting here thinking about how I can't wait to see him again. I don't know what you're thinking, but the experts tell me that this is a good sign.
We have Date #3 scheduled for Wednesday night. Is this the stud I've been waiting for? We shall see... Current vote: stud!
Update #3:
So I was hanging out with my friend LooksLikeMe McHalfAsian, who is also on match.com. We were browsing through her emails when I noticed that there was one guy who looked familiar. "Hey! That guy emailed me, too!" I said. We laughed and decided, "Duh," because LooksLikeMe is pretty much the half-Asian version of me. We are nearly the same height, dark hair, dark skin, and pretty much the same build. She is on my triathlon team and people confuse us all the time. It is no surprise that there are men out there who might find not one, but both of us attractive.
So the day goes on and LooksLikeMe and I head over to Blondie's house for dinner. In the middle of dinner, I receive a phone call from an unprogrammed number (honestly, this could be anyone. I have given my number out to so many dudes since I joined match.com, I can no longer keep track). I listen to the voicemail and I realize it is from Mr. McClearlyHasATypeAndItsUs. "OMG!" I say! "LooksLikeMe! You gotta email this guy back." So she pulls up her phone and sends him the following message: "Hi, I am having dinner with my friend Teachy, who is also on match, and who you just called. She says she'll call you back tomorrow."
Oh... snap! We all got a good laugh out of that one, but we are not quite sure if he got it (he does not appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed), as he wrote back: "Oh, sorry. Enjoy your dinner." And this is what happens when you and every single person you know joins match.com. Sorry Mr., but I ain't calling you back. Final vote: dud
Update #1:
I was having a really nice, chill date with Blondie McSmartyPants on Friday night. We went to Falalfel's Drive-In and enjoyed the most delectable dinner. Then, we watched "I Used to Be Fat" (while eating falafels, dolmas, and French fries. We had both finished our milkshakes on the drive home), and gushed over how handsome the previously fat teenager looked after his weight loss. OMG, seriously, he was SO HANDSOME!
So, things were going great until just a few minutes before Blondie left. I received a text message from... wait for it... Ballsy McIndian. Dude is relentless! He sent me a message letting me know that he was free to meet either Sunday or next week. I texted him back telling him I was free to meet NEVER. OK, I wasn't that mean, but I had to just nip things in the bud. I never was and never will be interested in Ballsy. That is the bottom line. So I texted him to tell him that I didn't think it was going to work out.
This started a long chain of textuments (text arguments) back and forth between ballsy and I. Now, some of you might say, "Dude, why did you even respond?" And the answer to that, my friends, is that I am incapable of losing an argument to idiots. So, I had no choice but to continuously respond to Ballsy until he finally got the point. He responded to my rejection by asking for some "constructive feedback." OK, because this is totally a business transaction, right? So, I told him (for constructive feedback purposes): 1) his obsession with my height was creepy, and (for reasons why I cannot go out on a date with him, which was really just me being nice and trying to throw some sort of excuse out there): 2) I am busy.
Oh man, Ballsy could not let it go (but then again, neither could I). He texted me back a multi-text response, which came broken up and out of order. Something about accepting the constructive feedback, trying to explain his creepy obsession with my height (it was an ice breaker. Umm, ok whatever), and then offering some unsolicited feedback for me, to which I responded: "I don't remember ever asking you for feedback." This got him fired up! His response left me laughing. I believe it said, "I am sorry if my feedback hurt you." HA! OK, buddy. By this time, btw, it was nearing midnight and all I wanted to do was go to bed. My last two text messages to him pretty much said it all: "Get over it" and "Please stop harassing me". It was a serious war of words. And I won. Duh. After I received a final text message from him, which did not warrant a response, I deleted all of the text messages as well as his contact information from my phone. Hands washed clean.
Well, guess what, people... it doesn't end there! Yesterday morning, I received a text from him: "Dont want to disturb you. Just wanted to say sorry for the exchange on friday." This poor soul was clearly torn up all weekend. I, on the other hand, did not think about it at all. In fact, I forgot it even happened. So, I am not sure what that says about me, except what we already know. It does not need to be said. And yes, it rhymes with witch. Ugh. Final vote: dud, with a side of freak!
Update #2:
Let me preface this by saying that I am nervous about writing this particular post because I don't want to jinx anything... but, here goes. Saturday night I had my second date with VolleyBall McBulgarian. We had discussed on our previous date that we didn't want to just do another dinner, but something more interactive, so we decided on bowling. He picked a bowling alley near his 'hood, which was nice (it was great, actually, as it minimized the chance of me running into someone I know, especially a student. Can you say, awkward?).
When we got to the bowling alley at 8pm, the League bowlers were still wrapping up, so we had to wait 45 minutes before we could get a lane. He asked if I had eaten yet (I had, duh - it was 8pm - but I told him I'd have a beer while he ate), so we headed to the Round Table across the parking lot. We talked about being nervous on dates, writing, and shopping at Target (he asked me where I got my boots. Where do you think? I asked him where he got his shirt. He shops at Target, too!) It was, really, a riveting conversation.
When he finished his pizza, we headed back to the bowling alley and bowled three games. I am really a terrible bowler. I mean TERRIBLE! And no matter how much I try to improve my technique, I will always suck. He beat me in all three games (I have to say, not by much, though) and I told him, of course, that I let him win. :)
When our games were over, we finished our beers and then headed outside. It was pretty obvious that neither one of us wanted the date to end. I hugged him and he went in for the kiss. SCORE! We then proceeded to talk, while wrapped in an embrace, outside of the bowling alley for another 45 minutes. This was awkward for me because I am not a publicly affectionate person. He, however, did not seem to mind. So I pushed my awkwardness aside, because despite the fact that I was so overly aware of each and every person who walked by, standing there in his arms felt really nice. We eventually decided we should go home and after a quick kiss, we ran in opposite directions out of the rain and to our cars. I felt so sparkly at the end of the date, I could not stop smiling, and I now I am sitting here thinking about how I can't wait to see him again. I don't know what you're thinking, but the experts tell me that this is a good sign.
We have Date #3 scheduled for Wednesday night. Is this the stud I've been waiting for? We shall see... Current vote: stud!
Update #3:
So I was hanging out with my friend LooksLikeMe McHalfAsian, who is also on match.com. We were browsing through her emails when I noticed that there was one guy who looked familiar. "Hey! That guy emailed me, too!" I said. We laughed and decided, "Duh," because LooksLikeMe is pretty much the half-Asian version of me. We are nearly the same height, dark hair, dark skin, and pretty much the same build. She is on my triathlon team and people confuse us all the time. It is no surprise that there are men out there who might find not one, but both of us attractive.
So the day goes on and LooksLikeMe and I head over to Blondie's house for dinner. In the middle of dinner, I receive a phone call from an unprogrammed number (honestly, this could be anyone. I have given my number out to so many dudes since I joined match.com, I can no longer keep track). I listen to the voicemail and I realize it is from Mr. McClearlyHasATypeAndItsUs. "OMG!" I say! "LooksLikeMe! You gotta email this guy back." So she pulls up her phone and sends him the following message: "Hi, I am having dinner with my friend Teachy, who is also on match, and who you just called. She says she'll call you back tomorrow."
Oh... snap! We all got a good laugh out of that one, but we are not quite sure if he got it (he does not appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed), as he wrote back: "Oh, sorry. Enjoy your dinner." And this is what happens when you and every single person you know joins match.com. Sorry Mr., but I ain't calling you back. Final vote: dud
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Will get you to wear heels next time to compensate" Eew, no you won't!
Four updates for your reading pleasure:
1) Monday night I had dinner with my ex, Youngster McFriendlyGiant. This was not, as Blondie wanted it to be, a date where he confessed that he was still in love with me and wanted to get back together. Thank God, because that would have been awkward. Instead, it was two old friends getting together and catching up. We had a really nice time. No vote necessary, as this guy has been and always will be a bud.
2) Last night, as you know (and I'm sure have been anticipating), I was supposed to meet Ballsy McIndian for coffee. However, as the day progressed, my anxiety about having to go and meet this guy steadily increased. I got cold feet. So after consulting with both Blondie and HeyTallGirl, I came to the conclusion that the best option, in this instance, was to cancel the date. I played around with a number of different ways to cancel, but decided that just keeping it short and sweet would be the best way to deal with this.
I know some of you are disappointed that I didn't meet Ballsy for coffee "for the sake of the blog," but I just couldn't do it. Honestly, what would be the point? It would have been a big waste of my time and I couldn't bare to do that - waste my time. I just don't have enough of it. And you will see, by reading the text below, that I actually dodged a big shiny bullet by canceling on that date.
Yep, that's THREE separate text messages you see there, including one that clearly reinforces his tall girl fetish. Oh boy. It is official, this guy is a total, major, absolute FREAK!
3) Speedy McSwede called me on Monday night while I was out with Youngster. He didn't leave a message, so I called him back on my way home. We chatted for a few minutes ("How was your day." "Terrible." Wow, Debbie Downer much, Mr. McSwede? I jokingly wanted to say, "Could anything else go wrong?"). Finally, he got to the point and asked me out on a second date. After that Ey-ore conversation we'd just had, I considered saying "No thanks" but thought I should maybe give him another chance. And since my schedule is so packed this week, our only option was Sunday. So, Sunday will be date #2 with Speedy McSwede. Should be a rip-roarin' good time!
4) Also while I was out with Youngster, I got a call from another potenty who lives in SF. His name, for lack of creative inspiration, will be LovesFood McSanFrancisco. So far, our email interactions have been about restaurants we love and the Giants winning the World Series. Not bad. I had some doubts about him after listening to his gravelly "uh"-laden voicemail message, but after playing it for Blondie and my friend, NicestFriend McChurchGirl-Granola, they both decided I was being overly critical and that he actually didn't sound "slow" ("It sounds like he is getting over a cold," NicestFriend said. Of course, because she is so nice), as I initially classified him. So, I called him back (one full day later) and we made tentative plans to go to a restaurant he recommended in San Francisco this weekend. I need to call him back on Thursday to confirm. Can someone PLEASE remind me!?
All in all, things have slowed down a bit on Match. We'll see how things play out with all of my aforementioned McDudes (including Mr. McBulgaria who hasn't called me yet this week). And if nothing pans out, I'll get to winking again...
1) Monday night I had dinner with my ex, Youngster McFriendlyGiant. This was not, as Blondie wanted it to be, a date where he confessed that he was still in love with me and wanted to get back together. Thank God, because that would have been awkward. Instead, it was two old friends getting together and catching up. We had a really nice time. No vote necessary, as this guy has been and always will be a bud.
2) Last night, as you know (and I'm sure have been anticipating), I was supposed to meet Ballsy McIndian for coffee. However, as the day progressed, my anxiety about having to go and meet this guy steadily increased. I got cold feet. So after consulting with both Blondie and HeyTallGirl, I came to the conclusion that the best option, in this instance, was to cancel the date. I played around with a number of different ways to cancel, but decided that just keeping it short and sweet would be the best way to deal with this.
I know some of you are disappointed that I didn't meet Ballsy for coffee "for the sake of the blog," but I just couldn't do it. Honestly, what would be the point? It would have been a big waste of my time and I couldn't bare to do that - waste my time. I just don't have enough of it. And you will see, by reading the text below, that I actually dodged a big shiny bullet by canceling on that date.
Yep, that's THREE separate text messages you see there, including one that clearly reinforces his tall girl fetish. Oh boy. It is official, this guy is a total, major, absolute FREAK!
3) Speedy McSwede called me on Monday night while I was out with Youngster. He didn't leave a message, so I called him back on my way home. We chatted for a few minutes ("How was your day." "Terrible." Wow, Debbie Downer much, Mr. McSwede? I jokingly wanted to say, "Could anything else go wrong?"). Finally, he got to the point and asked me out on a second date. After that Ey-ore conversation we'd just had, I considered saying "No thanks" but thought I should maybe give him another chance. And since my schedule is so packed this week, our only option was Sunday. So, Sunday will be date #2 with Speedy McSwede. Should be a rip-roarin' good time!
4) Also while I was out with Youngster, I got a call from another potenty who lives in SF. His name, for lack of creative inspiration, will be LovesFood McSanFrancisco. So far, our email interactions have been about restaurants we love and the Giants winning the World Series. Not bad. I had some doubts about him after listening to his gravelly "uh"-laden voicemail message, but after playing it for Blondie and my friend, NicestFriend McChurchGirl-Granola, they both decided I was being overly critical and that he actually didn't sound "slow" ("It sounds like he is getting over a cold," NicestFriend said. Of course, because she is so nice), as I initially classified him. So, I called him back (one full day later) and we made tentative plans to go to a restaurant he recommended in San Francisco this weekend. I need to call him back on Thursday to confirm. Can someone PLEASE remind me!?
All in all, things have slowed down a bit on Match. We'll see how things play out with all of my aforementioned McDudes (including Mr. McBulgaria who hasn't called me yet this week). And if nothing pans out, I'll get to winking again...
What gives?
Today, I received an email from Winky McWhatGives. This one's a doozy. A week or so ago, he winked at me. His profile looked interesting and he seemed like an OK guy, so I winked back. As per basic match.com etiquette, if you wink and then the person winks back, the ball is back in your court and it's your responsibility to make the next move.
In this instance, the next logical move is to send an email that says "hi" and asks a few questions, such as "What do you do for fun?" OR "I noticed you like to travel. Where's the last place you traveled?" You see, these are just suggestions, but the questions or comments you can make about someone's profile are endless.
Well, rather than send an email asking me one or more of above-listed questions, Winky waited about a week, viewed my profile multiple times, and then sent me the following message this morning:
*Shakes head in disbelief* WHAT? Who is this guy? First of all, "what gives"??? Secondly, "after all the winking"?? REALLY? There were two winks exchanged in total!
Now, there are two things I could have done with this email: 1) I could have ignored it and lived happily for the rest of my life; or 2) I could have sent him an email back putting him in his place.
What do YOU think I chose to do?
Yes, you are right. Here is the email I sent back (within minutes and via my iPhone, btw. I was fired up!):
Hi,
First, with "all the winking" are you referring to the one wink you sent me and the one wink I sent back? That's only two winks, which hardly implies a vigorous back-and-forth exchange of winks.
Second, why couldn't you just send me an email to start the process of communication rather than sending me this message, which sounds angry and bitter and which also gives the impression that I owe you something, which I clearly don't. You know what would have been nice? A simple email where you ask me some questions about things I enjoy doing or something from my profile that sparked your interest.
Finally, sending a message with the subject "What gives?" and then blaming me for the lack of communication isn't the best way to lure a girl in. So in the future, if you find a girl that you think you want to "exchange words" with, my advice would be to send her an email complimenting her, not telling her she's done something wrong.
Oops. I guess I was REALLY high up on my horse there. But come on, I couldn't just sit back and let this one slide. I mean, I know that many dudes are on match.com for this very reason - because they honestly just do not know how to communicate with women - but I figured I could take this as an opportunity for a teaching moment. He needed to be served. And he was.
But, here is what I was NOT expecting ...... to get an email back from him .... within 10 minutes of sending my email ......... that said this:
ahhh.... so that is the way I sounded :-( .... sorry it comes across that way.
I'm hardly upset ...... just trying to be persistent and silly/ goofy (ofcourse I know we have not been winking vigorously).
... A girl who is tall, very cute, can be goofy, humorous ... is especially interesting to me.
Even if I do not meet your dating "criteria", you seem like you will be a fun friend to hang out with.
I wish my composure and decorum didn't go out the window when I find someone I like online (like now)
by the way, the "peace sign" underwater... totally cool :-)
also I see you like John Grisham, have you ever read any Sidney Sheldon novels? His "Rage of Angels" or "Other Side of Midnight" are both truly amazing!
I love beaches, lakes, too.... aside from Santa Cruz, where else have you liked in the area?
oh bt w, I like the way you broke your paragraphs out into first, second, and finally... nice structure there :-)
Though my unstructured email might not indicate this, but in my spare time, I advise people about admission essay writing (and usually advocate for a good paragraph structure as well)
Now let's break this down piece by piece in order to get a real understanding of what's going on here: First (clearly, I love making lists), please proofread before sending emails. No one likes to receive a sloppy message in their inbox. Second, why so many ellipses? I just ....... don't .... understand. Next, you're complimenting me on the structure of my bitchy email? Oh man, I don't even know what to do with this one. Finally, are you also an advocate for proper punctuation and verb tenses? Because it doesn't really seem like it based on this email. Oh, and P.S. I am the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet. ~Natty Sweetheart.
So, obviously, I have not responded yet. I cannot even think of what to say (other than what's written above). But, Blondie says that "for the sake of the blog" I should continue communication with him and even potentially go out on a date! No promises yet, but it's definitely a possibility...
Current vote: freak! (there are so many freaks out there, we might have to change the name of the blog).
In this instance, the next logical move is to send an email that says "hi" and asks a few questions, such as "What do you do for fun?" OR "I noticed you like to travel. Where's the last place you traveled?" You see, these are just suggestions, but the questions or comments you can make about someone's profile are endless.
Well, rather than send an email asking me one or more of above-listed questions, Winky waited about a week, viewed my profile multiple times, and then sent me the following message this morning:
*Shakes head in disbelief* WHAT? Who is this guy? First of all, "what gives"??? Secondly, "after all the winking"?? REALLY? There were two winks exchanged in total!
Now, there are two things I could have done with this email: 1) I could have ignored it and lived happily for the rest of my life; or 2) I could have sent him an email back putting him in his place.
What do YOU think I chose to do?
Yes, you are right. Here is the email I sent back (within minutes and via my iPhone, btw. I was fired up!):
Hi,
First, with "all the winking" are you referring to the one wink you sent me and the one wink I sent back? That's only two winks, which hardly implies a vigorous back-and-forth exchange of winks.
Second, why couldn't you just send me an email to start the process of communication rather than sending me this message, which sounds angry and bitter and which also gives the impression that I owe you something, which I clearly don't. You know what would have been nice? A simple email where you ask me some questions about things I enjoy doing or something from my profile that sparked your interest.
Finally, sending a message with the subject "What gives?" and then blaming me for the lack of communication isn't the best way to lure a girl in. So in the future, if you find a girl that you think you want to "exchange words" with, my advice would be to send her an email complimenting her, not telling her she's done something wrong.
Oops. I guess I was REALLY high up on my horse there. But come on, I couldn't just sit back and let this one slide. I mean, I know that many dudes are on match.com for this very reason - because they honestly just do not know how to communicate with women - but I figured I could take this as an opportunity for a teaching moment. He needed to be served. And he was.
But, here is what I was NOT expecting ...... to get an email back from him .... within 10 minutes of sending my email ......... that said this:
ahhh.... so that is the way I sounded :-( .... sorry it comes across that way.
I'm hardly upset ...... just trying to be persistent and silly/ goofy (ofcourse I know we have not been winking vigorously).
... A girl who is tall, very cute, can be goofy, humorous ... is especially interesting to me.
Even if I do not meet your dating "criteria", you seem like you will be a fun friend to hang out with.
I wish my composure and decorum didn't go out the window when I find someone I like online (like now)
by the way, the "peace sign" underwater... totally cool :-)
also I see you like John Grisham, have you ever read any Sidney Sheldon novels? His "Rage of Angels" or "Other Side of Midnight" are both truly amazing!
I love beaches, lakes, too.... aside from Santa Cruz, where else have you liked in the area?
oh bt w, I like the way you broke your paragraphs out into first, second, and finally... nice structure there :-)
Though my unstructured email might not indicate this, but in my spare time, I advise people about admission essay writing (and usually advocate for a good paragraph structure as well)
Now let's break this down piece by piece in order to get a real understanding of what's going on here: First (clearly, I love making lists), please proofread before sending emails. No one likes to receive a sloppy message in their inbox. Second, why so many ellipses? I just ....... don't .... understand. Next, you're complimenting me on the structure of my bitchy email? Oh man, I don't even know what to do with this one. Finally, are you also an advocate for proper punctuation and verb tenses? Because it doesn't really seem like it based on this email. Oh, and P.S. I am the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet. ~Natty Sweetheart.
So, obviously, I have not responded yet. I cannot even think of what to say (other than what's written above). But, Blondie says that "for the sake of the blog" I should continue communication with him and even potentially go out on a date! No promises yet, but it's definitely a possibility...
Current vote: freak! (there are so many freaks out there, we might have to change the name of the blog).
Thursday, January 20, 2011
"Date" "Update"
Quick update on Trojan McWannabe. Upon the advice of my friends (I might wanna look into getting new friends!), I finally responded to Trojan McWannabe's emails. Sent him a quick note this morning saying, "Sorry it took me a while to respond. I've been very busy with work (left out the part about me thinking he's a freak) and just haven't had the chance to write." Told him I saw Black Swan last night and asked if he's seen it, stuff like that. He responds within 30 minutes (duh), with an email saying, "No problem. I'm really busy with work too. So glad that you wrote so I can continue to get to know you." I would like to throw it out there that there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that this guy is busy. If you can write 5 personal emails to the same person within 24 hours, you aren't busy. And for the record, he's a manager at Disneyland, whatever that means. As the slogan goes, for the sake of the blog, I'll continue to email this fool and hope to be asked out on a date! Stay posted.
Now, to the real subject at hand. Tonight I went on a date with Bball McVocab. We met for coffee around 6:15pm at the mall. I got to the mall entrance first and saw him walking up. When he got to me, he gave me a hug, and then did the top-to-bottom check-out and told me, "you look wonderful." Uh oh. As I predicted, he liked my size.
We walk through the mall and I caught him looking me up and down a bit (actually a lot) too much. We get in line for our coffees and he's already putting his arms around me. This is where I think there's a cultural breakdown. I would say I speak for most (maybe even all) Americans, when I say that we don't like being touched by strangers. Like dude, you've now touched me more in the past 5 minutes than anyone else in the past 5 days. Gross.
Teachy warned me this could happen (she's been on her fair share of dates with African McLovers) so while he was putting his arm around me, I was literally laughing. Body shakes. Couldn't help it.
We take a seat in the coffee shop and get to talking. His English is decent but pretty heavily accented. He was really nice, asked a lot of questions, has good goals, and I think REALLY REALLY liked me. At one point, he put his hand out over the table to try and hold my hand! Hahahaha! I started laughing and was like, "What are you doing?! I'm not holding your hand!" I don't think he quite understood my extreme aversion to public hand-holding on day one, and just laughed at me like I was some spectacle. He told me he liked how much I smiled and laughed (which I tend to do more and more when I'm nervous and awkward - which is an AWFUL habit because it's misinterpreted 100% of the time).
I think we sat and talked for about an hour and a half when I took it upon myself to wrap things up by telling him he needed to get home and work on his project (which he had told me about earlier). He tried to put his arm around me as we walked through the mall and I did my best to avoid his touch. Another mall goer, a woman in her 50s, gave me a sideways glance as she walked past us. I can only imagine what she thought of the odd couple walking through South Coast Plaza! He walked me to my car, I quickly gave him a hug, told him it was nice to meet him and frantically drove away. I'm currently praying he doesn't call me. Fingers crossed!
I do think he is a nice person, good intentions, and some lady (most likely not your average American chick) is going to be lucky to date him. He's just definitely not the right guy for me.
Final vote: Bud.
Now, to the real subject at hand. Tonight I went on a date with Bball McVocab. We met for coffee around 6:15pm at the mall. I got to the mall entrance first and saw him walking up. When he got to me, he gave me a hug, and then did the top-to-bottom check-out and told me, "you look wonderful." Uh oh. As I predicted, he liked my size.
We walk through the mall and I caught him looking me up and down a bit (actually a lot) too much. We get in line for our coffees and he's already putting his arms around me. This is where I think there's a cultural breakdown. I would say I speak for most (maybe even all) Americans, when I say that we don't like being touched by strangers. Like dude, you've now touched me more in the past 5 minutes than anyone else in the past 5 days. Gross.
Teachy warned me this could happen (she's been on her fair share of dates with African McLovers) so while he was putting his arm around me, I was literally laughing. Body shakes. Couldn't help it.
We take a seat in the coffee shop and get to talking. His English is decent but pretty heavily accented. He was really nice, asked a lot of questions, has good goals, and I think REALLY REALLY liked me. At one point, he put his hand out over the table to try and hold my hand! Hahahaha! I started laughing and was like, "What are you doing?! I'm not holding your hand!" I don't think he quite understood my extreme aversion to public hand-holding on day one, and just laughed at me like I was some spectacle. He told me he liked how much I smiled and laughed (which I tend to do more and more when I'm nervous and awkward - which is an AWFUL habit because it's misinterpreted 100% of the time).
I think we sat and talked for about an hour and a half when I took it upon myself to wrap things up by telling him he needed to get home and work on his project (which he had told me about earlier). He tried to put his arm around me as we walked through the mall and I did my best to avoid his touch. Another mall goer, a woman in her 50s, gave me a sideways glance as she walked past us. I can only imagine what she thought of the odd couple walking through South Coast Plaza! He walked me to my car, I quickly gave him a hug, told him it was nice to meet him and frantically drove away. I'm currently praying he doesn't call me. Fingers crossed!
I do think he is a nice person, good intentions, and some lady (most likely not your average American chick) is going to be lucky to date him. He's just definitely not the right guy for me.
Final vote: Bud.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
tall girl fetish
Early last week, wearing not the most flattering outfit - jeans, Uggs, a long-sleeve Stanford t-shirt, and a puffy vest - I was shopping in Target. Pushing my cart down the cereal aisle, I am approached from behind. "Must be nice to be tall," a mystery shopper says. I stop and turn around. He is now standing right next me. "Yep, it is!" I say.
"How tall are you?"
"6 feet"
"Wow! Do you ever wear heels?"
"Sometimes."
"So then you must be 6'2" in your heels?"
"Yeah. Sometimes 6'3!"
He is clearly enamored. I am slightly creeped out. But at the same time, I am thinking, this guy's got some balls. Then he proves that he really does have balls. He says, "Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?"
I am taken aback. First, let me describe this guy. Let's call him Ballsy McIndian. He's 5'11", maybe 6'0", skinny, Indian, super nerdy looking. Probably an Enginerd. He's not my type in anyway whatsoever, but remember - I made the decision to give all guys a chance as long as they proved to be interesting in some way. It was pretty much because he asked me out in the middle of the cereal aisle at Target that I said yes to his coffee invitation. The truth is that I honestly have no interest in this guy.
So I gave him my number. He explained that he was new here (moved from Georgia) and that he worked at Google. He asked what I did and I told him I was a teacher. He was fascinated! I was slightly embarrassed as the person in the aisle behind us walked past, clearly noting our exchanging of phone numbers. After giving him my number, he promised he would call and walked away.
Nearly a week went by and I didn't hear from him. I had no feelings about that whatsoever. This is one guy I could live without. However, yesterday afternoon, I received a text from him apologizing for not contacting me sooner - he'd had a busy week. He asked if he could meet me for coffee "to catch up," as if we were old friends seeing each other again after years gone by. Ooooookay. So I texted him back to let him know that I was free the week of the 17th. Below is his response. It was too good not to take a screen shot and post:
WTF!? Seriously? Does this guy have some kind of creepy tall girl fetish? Is anyone else creeped out by this??? Eeew. Bottom line: that is one date I definitely will NOT be going on. I guess the freaks are everywhere. While you're highly likely to find them lurking online, you're also apt to find them lurking behind you in the cereal aisle at Target. Watch your back, ladies! Final vote: freak!
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