breaking up is hard to do

I broke up with Funny McJokester today. I had to do it. He picked me up for our date last night and as soon as I closed the door to the car, you could cut the tension with a knife. I think maybe after I had lectured him about liking me too much, he decided he was going to be Mr. Plays-it-Cool Guy. And Mr. Plays-it-Cool Guy is even more annoying than Mr. Likes-me-too-much. It felt like a scene out of a really bad movie: he had Bruce Springsteen on the radio, he was chomping on a piece of gum, and driving like an idiot, holding his cell phone in one hand and barely hanging on to the steering wheel with the other. Every now and then (cuz cool guys do this), he would sing along, loudly, to the lyrics of the song.

When we finally arrived at our destination (after I had to tell him which exit to take and where to park), I asked him if he had seen the restaurant as we drove past - just to get a sense of where we were going. "Nah," he said, too cool to bother. So as we're walking, there are two girls coming toward us and he shouts, "Excuse me ladies, do you know where X Restaurant is?" One girl starts to answer immediately. I look at her and I recognize her - it's my friend Haircut Girl, who works at the salon around the corner. I grab her arm to get her attention. She squeals! We hug and catch up for a few seconds. I realize at that moment that I am embarassed to be seen in public with this guy. I do a quick introduction, she gives us directions, and then I tell haircut girl I'll call her. Ugh. He makes no comment about me running into harcut girl. Instead, he is whistling - loudly - the last Springsteen song that was on the radio.

So at the restaurant, he is cracking lame, sarcastic jokes left and right and making comments about me "wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible." Little does he know... it is no joke. He is right. At one point, the manager comes by and asks how our food is. "It's terrible!" he shouts. "Wah ah ah ah!" (Big, annoying belly laugh). The manager looks horrified. "I'm just kidding," he wails again. She rolls her eyes and walks away. He turns to me: "You probably thought that was annoying?" "Yup," I say.

On the drive home, he made comments about marrying me. Jokes, I am sure, but who knows? When he dropped me off, he didn't bother getting out of his car (even after he had chided me just minutes earlier for not reaching over and unlocking the door for him after I got in the car. Who doesn't have a door unlocking clicker these days? I'm sorry, is it 1961?), so I reached over and gave him a hug. "Thanks for dinner," I said. The entire date - door to door - lasted approximately one hour and thirty minutes. When I made it safely into my house, I was certain that I had dodged a bullet with that guy, and that I would never hear from him again.

But then...! I received this text this morning: "Thanks again for a really nice time last night" DID YOU JUST ROLL YOUR EYES AT HIM!? OMG, I wanted to shout. Get a clue! But I didn't. Instead, I sent him a nice text back breaking up with him. "I just don't feel like the connection is there and I would hate to lead you on," I wrote.

His response: "ha ha ha ok" Ummmmm... yeah. Contact delete. Final, FINAL vote: Dud

On a happier note... literally, on the night that I was about to write him off, Flaky McTallGuy finally called me. I hadn't heard from him in four days (but who's counting), and he left me a voicemail apologizing for being so flaky. He had family in town, was busy with the holidays, etc. It seemed like a valid excuse and it was super cute when he said, "If you're still talking to me, give me a call back." So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I called him back, we chatted, and now we have a date set for Sunday night. I am excited for this one. There is real stud potentional here. I might have to change his nickname if he pulls through on Sunday. Date deets early next week! Current vote: Stud