I don't get it

Whoops! I didn't realize I had let a month go by without blogging! I didn't intentionally withhold juicy updates, there just weren't any. So here's the latest...

My front runner Manly McTexan was scheduled to have surgery on February 7th so I set my expectations super low as far as when I might hear from him again. (This is the secret to avoiding debilitating downward dating spirals-set low expectations). Consequently I was pleasantly surprised to receive a Happy Valentine's Day text message from him. He reported that his surgery recovery was brutal and I said I was sorry to hear that and wished him well. He recalled I had plans to go to Austin and he had promised to get me some recommendations of where to go as he used to live there and has local friends and family still residing there. (I never expected to receive these). Well strangely enough, on the Friday before Teachy and I left for vacay, I was out at the local watering hole (watching Teachy, Texy McAmericanIdol, and DJ McEightesQueen sing their hearts out) and received not one but 4 text messages from him providing endless suggestions of where to go in Austin. I thanked him for his suggestions and asked if he was recovered from his surgery. No response. Well, I had 5 days of vacay ahead of me so I didn't let it spoil my buzz. Once I got home from Texas I decided I would swallow my pride and reach out one more time..just in case (even though my vaginal instincts were telling me it was useless). So I thanked him again for his efforts in sending me (remember- a 4 text long message) the Austin spots. Aaaaand you guessed it, no response! This behavior is absolutely mind blowing. Why would he go to the trouble of even researching Austin and then sending me the texts if he isn't interested in me? Is anybody REALLY that nice, particularly to somebody they met on match.com? And if so, wouldn't logic also suggest that they would therefore be nice enough to politely respond and indicate they are not interested in seeing me again instead of ignoring me? Somebody please explain this to me! Final vote: Dud in Stud's clothing.

Prior to our Austin trip I had chatted up Canadian McJew and he had politely asked if I would like to grab a drink once I was back in town. His maturity and good manners were appealing to me which is really quite scary if my standards have been lowered to the extent that all it takes is manners to get me excited about a guy. But anybody who is on match.com knows this is a rare and valuable quality in a potential date! So I gladly accepted the offer and we made plans for Saturday night. Our date started at 8:30 and we met at a local restaurant/bar that is always packed and loud. It's a fun scene, but not my choice for a first date as you can't comfortably sit and talk which is a significant first date activity! But Canadian McJew was on time, exceedingly polite and generally a good conversationalist. I had a glass of wine (+ the carafe which is really like 2 glasses) and I had only eaten a garden burger for dinner so I was already tipsy when he suggested going to another bar. If you are a single lady you might be familiar with the eating dilemma. It's generally assumed that if the guy does not explicitly state dinner, then there will be no food involved. However, multiple times I have eaten before a date, especially if it is in the 8-9 hour, only to arrive and my date hasn't eaten yet! What should you do? Eat dinner again (um no thanks, already struggling enough with cocktails 4-5 nights a week), or you could come off like a by-atch and say you already ate and refuse to eat anything else. Typically I will order something just to be polite (who wants to eat alone) and try not to devour a second dinner's worth of calories; hence my gardenburger-only dinner. So since Canadian McJew is not from the peninsula (he's from Canada as you might have guessed), he didn't have any suggestions as to where else we might go. So we actually had to get in his car and drive to the next town to hit up a tavern he Yelped from his phone. While he lost points for making me wander around in the freezing cold looking for a spot, I suppose in the end he redeemed himself for being resourceful. It ended up being a cool bar. We had a couple more drinks and before I knew it, it was 1AM! Crazy long drinking date right? Our conversation was good and he was interesting to talk to but my vajay was not sparkly at all. In fact, when he was driving me back to my car I was yawning. Which he noticed. So he dropped me off at my car and he did not get of his car. This was his unfortunate mistake as he completely eliminated any opportunity he might have had to kiss me at this point. So instead, it was an awkward, "Wanna go out again?" to which I replied "Sure, give me a call." Well followers...what do you think. Did he call? Its been over a week and, you guessed it, no call! Final Vote: Bud

I do have a promising date scheduled this week with TeddyBear McMIT. I haven't actually spoken to him on the phone, we've only exchanged emails and then voice mails as of today. I have lowered my expectations significantly so as to prevent disappointment but all indications are that it will at least be an enjoyable evening. TeddyBear McMIT asked me if I'd like to go to dinner (points for dinner instead of drinks!) and asked where I'd like to go. It is pretty rare that I actually get a nice meal out of these match.com guys so I suggested sushi (gotta get smart ladies). He agreed and I am hoping he'll call me tonite to confirm, and that the food won't be the highlight of the date! Current vote: Stud

Stay tuned for updates on him and others....wink wink.

There is nothing masculine about a phone date!

I am so sorry for the delay! I have been on vacay and have not had time to blog. But I know you're all dying for an update. So here goes...

Two weeks ago, I went on my first date with Okie McDogRescuer. Now, not only did I have low expectations for Okie, but I was also feelin' this other guy more (other guy being MountainBiker McChristian. More on him to come). So when he showed up to take me to lunch (yes, I broke my rule and gave him my address, but it just made more sense considering he was coming from Oakland and we were going to Mountain View for lunch), I was pleasantly surprised. He was much more good looking in person. His profile honestly didn't do him justice, and he was driving an orange Volkswagen GTI. Not really the color I'd pick, but I was definitely digging his choice in car. He ended up being funny and smart and we had a great date eating tapas and drinking sangria out in the beautiful Mountain View sunshine (this was, of course, before the weather turned nasty here in the Bay Area). This guy is DIFFERENT that's for sure. He's from Oklahoma but moved out here in the 90s for college (went to Cal) and now lives in Oakland. He reads instruction manuals cover to cover, rides motorcycles across the country with his dad, and rescued his dog (who was homeless and hanging around a restaurant he happened to be eating at) in New Mexico. I'm telling you, this guy surprised me. So... we've communicated a few times by text message since then, but no date #2 scheduled. I'm keeping my fingers crossed - I like this guy. Current vote: stud

So, MountainBiker McChristian was my top choice for a while. He seemed like a suuuuuper nice guy, owns his own house (which he remodeled with his dad, who's a contractor), is into sports and likes cooking. Sounds like a catch, eh? Well, I liked him a lot until I gave him my number and all he wanted to do was schedule dates to talk on the phone. And I don't mean just a short chat here and there, but we're talking hour-long, ear-reddening phone conversations. Ugh. I am so not into that. He had really interesting things to say... I think... but the truth is that with every conversation, I found myself snuggled up in bed and falling asleep by the end. What is it with dudes who like to talk on the phone!? Isn't that kind of feminine anyway? Phone dates are what I have with my friends who live out of town. You know, the ones I'm NOT capable of meeting for dinner or a drink...

So finally, after two painful hour-long conversations, in which I was yawning constantly, I asked him if he was going to take me on a date. He obliged. We ended up meeting for Happy Hour in downtown San Jose late last week (just before I took off on my vacay to Austin with Blondie McSmartyPants. We will do a joint blog post about this trip soon). Anyhoodle, the date was fine. He is a good looking guy, we had a lot to talk about and I felt like he was into me. But overall, I just felt kind of bored with him. I am kind of bored with our "relationship" in general. That's not a good thing, right? I am thinking I should give him one more chance. So if he asks me out on date #2, I'll go. But my vajay is sending clear signals here: nope. Semi-final vote: bud

But hang on to your pants... A hair-raising Austin update plus new potential stud-worthy write-ups are on the horizon.

Feeling sparkly

Oh man, I've got a LOT to write about. So let's start from the beginning.

Update #1:
I was having a really nice, chill date with Blondie McSmartyPants on Friday night. We went to Falalfel's Drive-In and enjoyed the most delectable dinner. Then, we watched "I Used to Be Fat" (while eating falafels, dolmas, and French fries. We had both finished our milkshakes on the drive home), and gushed over how handsome the previously fat teenager looked after his weight loss. OMG, seriously, he was SO HANDSOME!

So, things were going great until just a few minutes before Blondie left. I received a text message from... wait for it... Ballsy McIndian. Dude is relentless! He sent me a message letting me know that he was free to meet either Sunday or next week. I texted him back telling him I was free to meet NEVER. OK, I wasn't that mean, but I had to just nip things in the bud. I never was and never will be interested in Ballsy. That is the bottom line. So I texted him to tell him that I didn't think it was going to work out.

This started a long chain of textuments (text arguments) back and forth between ballsy and I. Now, some of you might say, "Dude, why did you even respond?" And the answer to that, my friends, is that I am incapable of losing an argument to idiots. So, I had no choice but to continuously respond to Ballsy until he finally got the point. He responded to my rejection by asking for some "constructive feedback." OK, because this is totally a business transaction, right? So, I told him (for constructive feedback purposes): 1) his obsession with my height was creepy, and (for reasons why I cannot go out on a date with him, which was really just me being nice and trying to throw some sort of excuse out there): 2) I am busy.

Oh man, Ballsy could not let it go (but then again, neither could I). He texted me back a multi-text response, which came broken up and out of order. Something about accepting the constructive feedback, trying to explain his creepy obsession with my height (it was an ice breaker. Umm, ok whatever), and then offering some unsolicited feedback for me, to which I responded: "I don't remember ever asking you for feedback." This got him fired up! His response left me laughing. I believe it said, "I am sorry if my feedback hurt you." HA! OK, buddy. By this time, btw, it was nearing midnight and all I wanted to do was go to bed. My last two text messages to him pretty much said it all: "Get over it" and "Please stop harassing me". It was a serious war of words. And I won. Duh. After I received a final text message from him, which did not warrant a response, I deleted all of the text messages as well as his contact information from my phone. Hands washed clean.

Well, guess what, people... it doesn't end there! Yesterday morning, I received a text from him: "Dont want to disturb you. Just wanted to say sorry for the exchange on friday." This poor soul was clearly torn up all weekend. I, on the other hand, did not think about it at all. In fact, I forgot it even happened. So, I am not sure what that says about me, except what we already know. It does not need to be said. And yes, it rhymes with witch. Ugh. Final vote: dud, with a side of freak!

Update #2:
Let me preface this by saying that I am nervous about writing this particular post because I don't want to jinx anything... but, here goes. Saturday night I had my second date with VolleyBall McBulgarian. We had discussed on our previous date that we didn't want to just do another dinner, but something more interactive, so we decided on bowling. He picked a bowling alley near his 'hood, which was nice (it was great, actually, as it minimized the chance of me running into someone I know, especially a student. Can you say, awkward?).

When we got to the bowling alley at 8pm, the League bowlers were still wrapping up, so we had to wait 45 minutes before we could get a lane. He asked if I had eaten yet (I had, duh - it was 8pm - but I told him I'd have a beer while he ate), so we headed to the Round Table across the parking lot. We talked about being nervous on dates, writing, and shopping at Target (he asked me where I got my boots. Where do you think? I asked him where he got his shirt. He shops at Target, too!) It was, really, a riveting conversation.

When he finished his pizza, we headed back to the bowling alley and bowled three games. I am really a terrible bowler. I mean TERRIBLE! And no matter how much I try to improve my technique, I will always suck. He beat me in all three games (I have to say, not by much, though) and I told him, of course, that I let him win. :)

When our games were over, we finished our beers and then headed outside. It was pretty obvious that neither one of us wanted the date to end. I hugged him and he went in for the kiss. SCORE! We then proceeded to talk, while wrapped in an embrace, outside of the bowling alley for another 45 minutes. This was awkward for me because I am not a publicly affectionate person. He, however, did not seem to mind. So I pushed my awkwardness aside, because despite the fact that I was so overly aware of each and every person who walked by, standing there in his arms felt really nice. We eventually decided we should go home and after a quick kiss, we ran in opposite directions out of the rain and to our cars. I felt so sparkly at the end of the date, I could not stop smiling, and I now I am sitting here thinking about how I can't wait to see him again. I don't know what you're thinking, but the experts tell me that this is a good sign.

We have Date #3 scheduled for Wednesday night. Is this the stud I've been waiting for? We shall see... Current vote: stud!

Update #3:
So I was hanging out with my friend LooksLikeMe McHalfAsian, who is also on match.com. We were browsing through her emails when I noticed that there was one guy who looked familiar. "Hey! That guy emailed me, too!" I said. We laughed and decided, "Duh," because LooksLikeMe is pretty much the half-Asian version of me. We are nearly the same height, dark hair, dark skin, and pretty much the same build. She is on my triathlon team and people confuse us all the time. It is no surprise that there are men out there who might find not one, but both of us attractive.

So the day goes on and LooksLikeMe and I head over to Blondie's house for dinner. In the middle of dinner, I receive a phone call from an unprogrammed number (honestly, this could be anyone. I have given my number out to so many dudes since I joined match.com, I can no longer keep track). I listen to the voicemail and I realize it is from Mr. McClearlyHasATypeAndItsUs. "OMG!" I say! "LooksLikeMe! You gotta email this guy back." So she pulls up her phone and sends him the following message: "Hi, I am having dinner with my friend Teachy, who is also on match, and who you just called. She says she'll call you back tomorrow."

Oh... snap! We all got a good laugh out of that one, but we are not quite sure if he got it (he does not appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed), as he wrote back: "Oh, sorry. Enjoy your dinner." And this is what happens when you and every single person you know joins match.com. Sorry Mr., but I ain't calling you back. Final vote: dud

I don't need a man!

I've got a date with Blondie McSmartyPants tomorrow night. We're going to the Falafel Drive-In for some falafels and banana shakes. Then, we're going to plan our trip to Austin, which we're taking during my Winter Break in February.

In the past year, I've had more romanty dates and vacays with Blondie than any dude. Last year we went to San Diego for a Valentine's Day Weekend roadtrip. Valentine's Day was actually freakishly warm - it was 86 degrees in the San Diegs - so we went to Coronado Beach, read Us Weekly, laid out in the sun, and ate California burritos for lunch. It was pretty romantic.

Over the summer, we went on a super romanty vacay to Jamaica. We stayed at a couple's resort and rubbed sunscreen on each other's backs on a daily basis. I compromised my love of Vitamin D and sat in the shade with Blondie (she does not tan as well as I do) every day by the pool. She compromised her fear of Jamaican men and allowed one to put his arms around her during our one and only "drunk night," which consisted of us hanging out at the "Sports Bar" (a.k.a. a tiny room on the second floor of the resort lobby with a popcorn machine, some stale chips and a globby goo that was being passed as cheese - otherwise known as "nachos") and drinking flourescent cocktail after flourescent cocktail, which were specially made for us by our Jamaican boyfriends... er, I mean bartenders. We made friends with other nice couples, went on a snorkeling day trip, and we went kayaking together in the bay. It really was lovely.

We have also been on a number of dinner dates together - I cook for her, she cooks for me, we order pizza, we enjoy a candlelit dinner at a local restaurant, we go out for a drink and stare lovingly into each other's eyes. We watch "The Bachelor" and "Teen Mom" and "I Used to be Fat" and "Heavy" (we really love shows about fat people) and "American Idol" together, we pretend to be super sports fans together, and we create fake super hot match.com profiles together. It's the best love story you've ever heard.

And that is pretty much why I cannot WAIT for our date tomorrow night. This our 1,457th date. It's not awkward, there is no lame small talk, I already know all about her siblings and where she grew up (I grew up there, too!), I am never nervous, I know exactly what she looks like, I know what to expect, and... most important, she always tells me I look pretty. Man, I am one lucky girl! Final vote: double stud all the way across the sky!

Bud or stud? That is the question...

It's the post you've all been waiting for! Last night I had Date #2 with Flaky McTallGuy. He's still tall, but I am considering a new first name nickname because he ain't so flaky anymore! He has totally redeemed himself.

We met in downtown Mountain View at a Chinese Restaurant that he chose, which ended up being super tasty - but, honestly, I am not one to judge when it comes to food. Actually, let me rewind for a second and tell you why he chose the restaurant. This is a good story.

It's mid-December, phone call #1 and we are setting up date #1. "Where should we meet?" I ask him. "Well, I'll let you make some suggestions... I'm not really a 'traditional' guy who has to make all the decisions for the couple," he says. I ponder this for a moment. Then, I am not quite sure where I get the balls, but I reply with: "Or you could just be a man and pick a place..." Yikes! I cannot stop myself from saying it and I regret it the instant it comes out. Where is the "Smart Ass ON/OFF button when I need it? I think for sure that it's going to be the end of our conversation, but he just laughs and says, "OK, I'll see what I can come up with."

Then, on date #1, he brings up the conversation! He's like, "Hey remember when you told me to be a man and pick a restaurant?" I giggle nervously. "I like that you did that. Sometimes I need to be put in my place."

Holy. Shiznit.

So, after passing the smart-ass test with Flaky, I felt really hopeful about this relationship. And after last night's date... I am feeling even more hopeful. Again, we had good conversation, he laughed at my jokes, and we even had some awkwardly serious discussions. There are many things about our dates that tend to be awkward - like when we went to leave and I had to tap the guy sitting behind me on the shoulder to ask him to get up and move his chair because he was sitting on my jacket - but I kind of like that because it keeps things interesting. Even though at this point he feels more like a "bud" than a "stud," I'm going to continue seeing him because I think there is potential for growth here. Perhaps Date #3 on Saturday will be the defining moment in our relationship. Will he finally cross that line from bud to stud? Will he be The One? Or at least The One For Now? We shall see.

Current vote: Bud, teetering on the edge of stud.

breaking up is hard to do

I broke up with Funny McJokester today. I had to do it. He picked me up for our date last night and as soon as I closed the door to the car, you could cut the tension with a knife. I think maybe after I had lectured him about liking me too much, he decided he was going to be Mr. Plays-it-Cool Guy. And Mr. Plays-it-Cool Guy is even more annoying than Mr. Likes-me-too-much. It felt like a scene out of a really bad movie: he had Bruce Springsteen on the radio, he was chomping on a piece of gum, and driving like an idiot, holding his cell phone in one hand and barely hanging on to the steering wheel with the other. Every now and then (cuz cool guys do this), he would sing along, loudly, to the lyrics of the song.

When we finally arrived at our destination (after I had to tell him which exit to take and where to park), I asked him if he had seen the restaurant as we drove past - just to get a sense of where we were going. "Nah," he said, too cool to bother. So as we're walking, there are two girls coming toward us and he shouts, "Excuse me ladies, do you know where X Restaurant is?" One girl starts to answer immediately. I look at her and I recognize her - it's my friend Haircut Girl, who works at the salon around the corner. I grab her arm to get her attention. She squeals! We hug and catch up for a few seconds. I realize at that moment that I am embarassed to be seen in public with this guy. I do a quick introduction, she gives us directions, and then I tell haircut girl I'll call her. Ugh. He makes no comment about me running into harcut girl. Instead, he is whistling - loudly - the last Springsteen song that was on the radio.

So at the restaurant, he is cracking lame, sarcastic jokes left and right and making comments about me "wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible." Little does he know... it is no joke. He is right. At one point, the manager comes by and asks how our food is. "It's terrible!" he shouts. "Wah ah ah ah!" (Big, annoying belly laugh). The manager looks horrified. "I'm just kidding," he wails again. She rolls her eyes and walks away. He turns to me: "You probably thought that was annoying?" "Yup," I say.

On the drive home, he made comments about marrying me. Jokes, I am sure, but who knows? When he dropped me off, he didn't bother getting out of his car (even after he had chided me just minutes earlier for not reaching over and unlocking the door for him after I got in the car. Who doesn't have a door unlocking clicker these days? I'm sorry, is it 1961?), so I reached over and gave him a hug. "Thanks for dinner," I said. The entire date - door to door - lasted approximately one hour and thirty minutes. When I made it safely into my house, I was certain that I had dodged a bullet with that guy, and that I would never hear from him again.

But then...! I received this text this morning: "Thanks again for a really nice time last night" DID YOU JUST ROLL YOUR EYES AT HIM!? OMG, I wanted to shout. Get a clue! But I didn't. Instead, I sent him a nice text back breaking up with him. "I just don't feel like the connection is there and I would hate to lead you on," I wrote.

His response: "ha ha ha ok" Ummmmm... yeah. Contact delete. Final, FINAL vote: Dud

On a happier note... literally, on the night that I was about to write him off, Flaky McTallGuy finally called me. I hadn't heard from him in four days (but who's counting), and he left me a voicemail apologizing for being so flaky. He had family in town, was busy with the holidays, etc. It seemed like a valid excuse and it was super cute when he said, "If you're still talking to me, give me a call back." So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I called him back, we chatted, and now we have a date set for Sunday night. I am excited for this one. There is real stud potentional here. I might have to change his nickname if he pulls through on Sunday. Date deets early next week! Current vote: Stud

he thinks he's a stud, but...

So tonight I have date #2 with Funny McJokester. Date #1: coffee at Starbucks followed by a jaunt through Borders. We had fun browsing the books and I bought a Ghost Hunters book that he recommended. I am super obsessed with those paranormal shows, like Ghost Hunters, and this is a book written by the two guys who started the T.A.P.S. (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) team, so it was a great recommendation.

There are some really great things about him. He's super funny, we have great rapport, and I feel oddly comfortable around him, like I've known him for a long time. However, he's dancing on an extremely thin line between stud and bud and there's really only one reason for that. He is too into me.

I know that I should be happy to have a dude who really likes me and who is very vocal about his feelings for me, but I have some issues with dudes who are into me after only two dates. 1) we don't know each other. 2) there is no challenge. I don't have to get him to like me. He already does. That is SOO boring!

So I am doing my best to go on this date with an open mind. I want him to be a stud. But my current vote is: Bud. We shall see...

are you a stud?

Welcome to buds, duds, and duds - our match.com dating adventures blog!

We are EyeBrows, Blondie, HeyTallGirl, and Teachy - four working women looking for love.

We're here to find us some huzzzbands. Since men don't seem to be appearing out of thin air, and since we can't dream Mr. Right into existence, we've all decided to take the plunge and join match.com. Our ultimate goal: to find the loves of our lives. Our secondary goal: to have fun, meet men, and come up with some pretty awesome nicknames. Our final goal: to get as many free meals as humanly possible.

Here's how it will work: each of us will document our dating adventures - from winks to full-on makeout sessions. Then, when the time comes, we will rank the men based on this scientific classification:

Is he...
-a bud: Is he nice, smart, funny, cuddly even? Do you care if he sees you without your makeup? Does he like to watch "America's Next Top Model" with you? Yep, I hate to break it to ya, but he's just a bud.

-a dud: Did somebody say "BOOOOORRRR-RING!?" Did he talk to much? Make you fall asleep? Make you wish you were at home with a carton of Haagen Dazs watching "The Bachelor" with your bud? Yikes, then he's a dud.

OR...

-a stud: Does he make you swoon? Do you get all googly-eyed when you talk about him? Is he a sexy beast? HELLA YEAH, that guy's a stud!

So if you're looking for some voyeuristic fun, dating vicariously through the three of us, then check back on this blog. We've got six months of membership to rant about. Don't make us get crazy!

xoxo,
Your Dating Professionals